Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
