I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize