I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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