Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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