We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
love makes seman taste better
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
