Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
