I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize