I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
