The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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