Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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