i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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