I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
