margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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