you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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