I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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