Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize