the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
