Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
