how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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