waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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