I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
