i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
