girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
