I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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