dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
