What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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