i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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