umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize