two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
