Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize