if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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