Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
