Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I want is dick and wine.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
