Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
