Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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