How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
