I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
