Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
