found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize