Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
