Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh god it's open bar.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
