Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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