Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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