hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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