what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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