hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
