i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
