Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
