That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
