I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
