I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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