It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
