it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
