Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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