I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
