She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
