Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
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We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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