Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
