Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
