I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
