tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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