This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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