moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
