God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
