i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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