I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
