he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
