i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
